To the attention of: Andy Thomas, Heineken CEO
Hey Andy, what’s up?
As I’m sure you already know, all the editors here at Le Mur de Laine de Briques are huge Heineken fans, and that got me thinking…
You see we, the editors, manage one of the internet’s blog powerhouses that drives a copious amount of traffic from all over the world. Furthermore, we connect with several market niches that I’m sure Heineken has never heard of: North Korea’s Kim Jong Il’s entourage, Rodeo Porn lovers, the Swiss, and pre-adolescent jpop lovers.
All in all, this probably amounts to millions of potential consumers you have yet to target.
So, Andy, here’s the deal: we at the Mur de Laine de Brique help promote your products to our very specific viewership, and in exchange you supply us with the necessary finances to grow and expand your viewer base, hence further growing our promotion of your products.
After careful consideration, we believe that a 576 000EUR downpayment would cover our efforts till year’s end. We can then renegociate in 2011.
As I’m sure our proposition will blow your mind and you are already rushing to get the papers drafted, you will find below our first efforts in expanding your brand’s name to new territories.
ps: Andy, you know we love you, but I feel the need to be as transparent as possible: Guinness is pushing us hard, so please, wire transfer the funds ASAP.
Le Mur de Laine de Briques’ Marketing Department.