Ah ouais, le titre c’est du lourd on est bien d’accord. Mais là je trip parce que je pense vraiment avoir eu un impact important sur un gars. J’vous explique…
Je surfais sur des forums et je suis tombé sur un long post d’un mec qui expliquait qu’il était à fond dans les arts martiaux, mais que malgré le fait qu’il travaillait dur et qu’il se considérait comme techniquement bon, il avait une grande peur des blessures, ce qui le démotivait énormément. Il n’allait donc pas régulièrement à la salle, et ces périodes d’inactivité l’entraînaient dans une spirale de dépression (ouais, en effet c’est du lourd :)).
En matant son profil, je vois un jeune (j’ai du mal à évaluer son âge à ce moment là) en tenue et pose boxeur. Direct je me dis, ouhlala il est à fond lui.
Donc je prépare une super longue réponse, que j’essaye de poster mais la page crash (heureusement je l’avais sauvegardée comme je fais toujours quand je m’investis dans un post). La raison pour laquelle la page a crashé était simple: le mec avait effacé son post d’origine entre le moment où il l’avait posté et le moment où j’ai répondu :p
Donc je le contact sur le système de chat du site, et il me demande de lui envoyer la réponse par e-mail. La voici ci-dessous. Je vous cacherai pas que j’ai hesité à la poster ici, vu que y’a quelques petites choses de persos et qu’on reste un blog à fréquentation internationale et massive :p, mais bon…
I was kind of in the same boat as you a few years back, as I had never ever done any competitive sports other than Martial Arts (karate as a kid, kickboxing/savate as a teen and adult).
To be honest, reading your post was kind of overwhelming, as I’ve gone through a pretty similar process and rough times when I stopped MAs altogether. I stopped for several reasons, one of them was simply time and worklife issues, another was that after moving I did not find a club that fit my standards etc… And finally at 28 I started to think about my long term physical integrity and started seriously focusing on potential injury and damage to the body (a bad fight I had that left my two legs in accute pain for 2 weeks was my final wake up call).
So anyway my brutal quitting of MAs and sports in general was seriously hardcore, for what I believe were the following reasons:
– speaking from a purely physical/chemical standpoint, my body spent probably 8 years training at least 3 times a week, up to 6 when preparing for fights… Imagine the physical shock it experienced when I stopped straight up. I’m not psychologist or neuroscientist or whatever, but two experts have told me that the chemistry change that this would produce in my brain would basically be hardcore and could lead to depression or associated crap.
Solution? Keep up a physical activity, even light. Have a physical activity that is NOT competitive. If you go run on your own, don’t compete with yourself and try to beat your own records. Just run for the fun of feeling great during and after. No stress, just fun.
– Martial arts / boxing was a huge part of my self, of me, of who I was. I defined myself through this, I was a boxer, and I was proud. But come to think of it, and after having taken a few years off, I realise this was kind of fucked up. It defined me so much that when I quit, it lowered my self esteem, and I had to fill the void (which I filled with another self destructive activity, but that’s a whole other story).
I was far from a professional, it wasn’t my livelyhood, and the importance combat sports took in my perception of myself was just totally disconnected with reality. Furthermore it was narrowing my horizons. There is other stuff in life than MAs.
Anyway, solutions not to fall in this trap? Don’t really know… Maybe realize that you are not your hobbies, your sports… That it’s nice to be an individual with multiple facets?
– and finally another point I want to make, even if it’s kind of off topic, and that will go against everything we hear in the MA community. I realised after many years that MAs were NOT a good influence on me, even though I was lucky enough to train with a great community of good guys and girls. But at the end of the day, I was obsessed with physical violence, and would always be asking me stupid questions like « could I take this guy in a fight? », « what would I do if this violent situation arose? » etc etc… Seriously, F that. Really. Fuck it. We live in a super docile and civilized world, why focus so much on physical violence? There’s a 0.01% chance you’ll get into a life and death fight situation.
I understand the challenge part and proving something to yourself as a kid, a teen and a young adult. However I truly believe it brings negative « vibes » after a while and messes you up… There are far more positive ways to challenge yourself. In my case it’s now trekking and overall health and fitness…
Anyway, please forget my rambling but your post got me fired up 😀
And lastly, about the fear of physical harm… If you’re still really into fighting, if you still really want to continue a bit with combat sports… man the only thing I can tell you is train hard, as hard as you can (you need a good coach to push you though, ‘coz I believe that preparing for a fight alone is suboptimal), and get into the ring.
It sounds like at this point you are basically scared… which I’d say is totally natural. It’s fear… pure and simple. Acknowledge it. Acknowledge that because you are scared (of injury and/or other things), you are not fighting at your best. That’s a reality and there’s nothing you can do about it. But lets stay rational: on a short term basis, martial arts have a very LOW risk of serious injury (lower than soccer and football btw). So if it’s an experience you want to live, overcome your fear by gaining experience. Experience, experience, experience. And by the way, if you never fought outside of hard sparring, keep in mind you will LOOSE your first fights. Keep this in mind. The point at this stage is not winning, the point is getting familiarised with the ring, the adrenaline rushes, the stress, the pressure etc… Once you are familiriazed with this environment, only then will you be able to use your technical ability and start getting into the real technical/strategic aspect of ring fighting.
K enough rambling, peace out, hope this helped one way or another.
Son retour par chat ne se fait pas attendre: il me dit que c’est incroyable à quel point j’ai complètement compris ce qu’il vivait, surtout la partie sur l’image du boxeur qui domine sa personalité et qui il est. Il me dit texto « what I’ve learnt off you tonight, is probably going to change a hell of a lot of things in life ».
Il me dit qu’il a 18 ans et qu’il s’apprête pour la première fois à quitter son foyer pour partir à la FAC. Je lui dit, ben écoute mec t’as 18 ans et tu veux boxer, vas-y blam sans hésiter. Mais compartementalise. Soit un boxeur à la salle, soit un étudiant sur le campus qui bosse dur (ouais bon là c’est ultra paternaliste :)), qui fait la grosse teuf et qui rencontre la blind de monde d’horizons différents.
Puis il continue à m’encenser.
Je trip là. J’ai vraiment l’impression d’avoir aidé quelqu’un, et que ces idées simples (qui sont nées de quelques années d’expériences) pourront avoir un impact positif sur lui.